Near Drowning – a Mother’s Testimony

‘Bad’ things are not supposed to happen to ’good’ people. Are they?
I know what you’re thinking as you read this. “It will never happen to me.” None of us ever really expect to have to deal with tragedy. Not a car accident or a hijacking or a rugby injury, and especially never a drowning. “We have a fence around our pool.” “We always watch our children.”
“The domestic worker is always there with them.” “My child can swim”. “They had lessons”. Over the last 16 years I have heard the same stories from so many parents. Yet it did happen to many of them. And it happened to us too.

Christopher Reeve of Superman fame wrote, after his accident that took away his ability to function unassisted (and tragically eventually his life), that we are all mere seconds away from being exactly where he was. For as long as your children are around a swimming pool they are within a few steps of a similar fate. It can happen to you. Tragedy is not selective. Tragedy does not care how much you earn, what car you drive, what colour your skin is, how many lessons you have paid for…..

Charissa was a very healthy little girl when at the age of 11 months she crawled into our swimming pool at home and drowned. We were paranoid parents, fanatical about safety in the car, totally over-protective of our first precious child. A quotation for a pool net was lying on the kitchen counter.

It was a classic case of miscommunication. I thought she was with her Dad, he thought she had gone upstairs with me. All it took was a few seconds and our bundle of joy was lifelessly floating in the pool. As we raced to a nearby hospital I tried to breathe life into her limp body. As a teacher I had been trained to do first aid. But believe me when your child is in that situation your training is forgotten. Panic and fear grip your heart and take away your ability to act calmly and logically.

It took the doctors 30 minutes to get her heart started. Ironically they were in the emergency room as they had just saved the life of another young toddler who had drowned at a resort at a family wedding. In the bewildering days that followed, as we were warned that we may have to decide to switch off the life-support that was keeping this fragile little body going, I asked God many, many times why he could not take me instead. You make deals with God, you beg doctors to give you some hope, you dream of your child running in the garden and then wake up to the harsh reality.

It was the beginning of a whole new way of life for us, an event that touched not only our lives but also those of grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins and friends. It changed the course of our lives and our entire way of thinking. And it exposed us to countless other stories of drownings over the last 16 years. Some are more tragic than ours; children most often die immediately or in time as the severity of the brain damage affects their entire body. Their breathing deteriorates; even a common cold can lead to pneumonia. Children are often left unable to eat, with tubes to feed them directly into their stomach. The consequences are dire, an exhausting and often lonely path of therapy, operations, medication, sleep deprivation…. Many marriages fail as partners struggle to deal with the strain, the exhaustion, and the all-consuming guilt. You very quickly learn who your true friends are and see a side to people in your family that you never saw before. Tragedy exposes people, strips you bare of pretences and yet makes you appreciate that there is still some good in the world. We have met many amazing people and hopefully have helped a good many survive their tragedies too. 

It is a long and torturous journey, yet as I look back I choose rather to think of the happy moments. When Charissa was 6 we decided that it was time to ‘move on’ and were so blessed with the birth of Jade, who is now an amazing, sensitive 9 year old and a wonderful sister to Charissa. She has a lot to deal with but we make sure that she knows she has her own life to lead. She can be so protective of her big sister, yet they have their fights, regardless of the fact that Charissa has minimal functional speech! Yet they are there for each other in so many ways unseen to us as adults.

As Charissa matures and is missing out on things like going on her first date, choosing a matric dance dress ...it does hurt. But we have chosen to make a better life for Charissa rather than dwell on what she has lost. She is progressing steadily due to her amazing caregiver Paula and a wonderful, innovative new therapy called the Scotson Technique which focuses on the respiratory system. We can never ‘fix’ the brain damage that she suffered when deprived of oxygen in that pool, but we can help her to lead a productive, meaningful life. And we can use our story to prevent others.

I have finally overcome my anger and learnt to accept that God does not allow such things to happen. We are given free will and the rest is up to the laws of nature. We make mistakes, we bear the consequences. God is there to catch you and help you to find the strength to deal with it.

I pray that you do not have to walk the same path as us. Please be cautious, and spread the word to friends and family. Teach your children to swim, be pool safe, buy a pool alarm and always, always watch your children around a pool. Yes, even if they can already swim!

Natalie Georgiou
April 2009